all things go.

I got a Brian Wood comic I've been waiting on for about 3 months now to come in stock. I really hate it when I get the second or third in a series of anything and have to wait on the original! Pat: it's Couriers 01. I read Demo, and that shit was awesome. Thanks!

I have been putting this off for a bit.

Memoirs of a Busrider.

This is a journal of the events taking place within the confines of my last Tallahassee trip (which went quite well, despite the bookends i'll be focusing on below) The company with which I traveled had a name that rhymed with "Playground" or "Gaypound." ... Okay, it was Greyhound. I was gonna hide the name in case of publishing but whatever.

Departure.
Downtown Atlanta, 9/22, Wayyy early.
An older woman solicits Snickers bars, which I politely decline (contents of carry-on: 1 Apple, 1 green tea, 1 bag of Smartfood). Waiting in queue, I see that they've retired my beloved fighter plane from service, the F-14A Tomcat, aka the Top Gun plane. Farewell, you fighting cat!

5:20 a.m.-- My bus is now Totally Late. I have unintentionally struck up a conversation with a saucier at some schmancy hotel, who has warrants in Tally for an expired license and decides to Greyhound it to the DMV. Regaled with tales of his time at the Cordon Bleu, he also explained the speeding that led to his predicament. Throughout the trip, he also kept calling the hotel about the glaze on the next batch of Chicken Marsala (pronounced "Marsellus" by he). Note to self-- watch Pulp Fiction in the near future.

5:30 a.m. The bus arrives and the trip goes well. The driver is some sort of Bus Driver Diva, though not as bad as the driver from the trip up. She excutes some sort of 15-point turn in Thomasville that practically backs us out of the entire city. The pickup spot in T'Ville is nestled between a thrift store and a pecan factory. I arrive in Tallahassee and have a really great time.

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Departure to Atlanta.

"If I Run."

Approx. 12:30 p.m. - First sighting of shirtless toddler/feral child.

12:35- In the waiting line I spot the first appearance of The Power Trio, three ladies who seem to be 3 generations of the same family. The first being an elderly lady with missing teeth and hearing. She is not as consequential to the story as the Mom and Daughter. The mother resembled a tanned version of Amy Poehler, give or give 35 years--perhaps the Poo-Stick lady she portrayed in UCB. Fun Fact: She goes outside no less than three times to smoke in our 15 minutes in line, and complains about not going more, as she is willing to make her daughter wait to use the bathroom while she smokes.
The Daughter is pretty much a less attractive version of Joy from My Name Is Earl, minus the clever writing. She argues with her mother quite frequently, and their faces are both covered in glitter.

12:45-- Mom and Daughter argue about what they did with their checked luggage. Mom has a self-destructive, showy tantrum, knocking over a bag. The bag contains DVDs, most noticeably "Left Behind" (natch) and "Confessions of a Drama Queen*" (also natch.) Several onlookers giggle immediately.

1:19-- We all board the bus. Mom and Daughter hold the late bus longer due to ignorance of bus rules. They aren't sure if they're meant to stop in Macon or Atlanta, which is pretty much a big fucking detail. After a small bit of frustration, a passenger up front interjects with "Hell, just take a bus ride." He is now Bus King to me.

1:23-- A man across from me loses bandage on finger. He indicates to the driver and myself that the cut is to the bone. Fashions impromptu bandage until Poehler Mom provides one.

2:20-- P.Mom asks if small stop in T'Ville is a rest. It is most decidedly not. I text Holly (Message: "This bus is full of Winners.")

2:23--At the intersection of Broad and Luten street. Is funny for some reason.

2:42--Glitterface Daughter moves 2 seats back to sprawl out, in the spot previously occupied by Bonefinger, who has retreated to the back. Five minutes later, her shoe falls off.

4:55--We arrive in Macon, where our trio leaves us, sadly. I get tired of writing this and start reading the Prestige again. It's fucking good.

The Bus Driver was a seemingly nice man with a bunch of rules. Mildly obsessed with scheduling, he advises against stretching and resting until our proper stop. he ALSO advises against looking for the driver near the end of the stop, which i disagree with. I say if there's one GH driver, and he's eating, you're good to go. In fact, I like to keep an eye on him. This guy was totally the opposite of this older fellow, who last time invited us to go to Jimmie's Hot Dogs and enjoy a good chili dog, which I may do next time, given I have time, or even decide to ride the bus again. As it stands, I pray for the decline of airfare.

*Apparently people actually saw this movie. I forgot it ever came out. More like Lindsay Blow-han! Hah!